Chapter Text
When Buck defended Eddie to Gerrard, it was far from being the first time he’d stood up for him. It was in Buck’s nature to protect people, especially when it came to the people he loved. Time and time again Eddie had witnessed Buck do everything he could to protect his loved ones. Eddie himself had long believed that Evan Buckley’s mere presence in his life was a miracle, and that without his best friend, Eddie and Christopher wouldn’t have survived this long. But even with that belief, Eddie had never seen firsthand the moments Buck had fought for him and his son. Eddie wasn’t there during the tsunami; he was forty feet underground when Buck had apparently tried to dig him out with his bare hands; and he’d been pretty much dying when Buck had crawled under the ladder truck to get Eddie out the firing range of the sniper. So, while Eddie knew that there was nothing Buck wouldn’t do for him and Christopher, but he’d never actually seen it, or at least been physically aware of it happening.
(“You’re asking for a leave because you’re sad, Diaz? I f*cking knew Nash spoiled you weaklings. When I was your age, the only way we could ask for a leave is if we were dead.”
“Captain, I—“
“Has it ever occurred to you that your weakness is perhaps the reason you lost custody over your son, Diaz?”
“What the f*ck did you just say, Vincent ?”)
Seeing Buck yelling at Gerrard for his snide comments about Eddie’s mental health when Eddie had asked for a week off to get his head straight—that was the moment it truly settled in Eddie’s mind just how much Buck cared about him. And when Buck resigned from the LAFD—a job that he loved so much, he risked ostracizing his team—because Gerrard had threatened to fire Eddie to punish Buck’s insolence... Well . You could say that that was the moment Eddie finally allowed himself to acknowledge just how much he loved Buck. No, correction. He had always known he loved Buck; had even told the man himself a few times when they were having one of their more tender moments together. But to see Buck easily sacrificed his life—because that was how much firefighting meant to him—for Eddie, of all people, was what prompted him to admit to himself that he was in love with his best friend.
(“If you leave this station, I’ll make sure you won’t ever get to work as a firefighter in this country ever again, Buckley!”
“Then so be it. If you manage to convince the brass to ban me from ever becoming a firefighter, then I’d hate to work for those narrow-minded fools so easily manipulated by an asshole like you.”
“You’ll regret this, Buckley. Mark my words, you will– and where do you think you’re going, Diaz? If you go with Buckley, I won’t be giving you that leave.”
“What do you think, Vincent ? I go wherever Buck goes. If he quits, then I’m quitting with him.”)
He was so hopelessly, irretrievably in love with Buck, so much that he had to stop himself from kissing Buck right in the middle of the fire station for defending him. He couldn’t do that though. Not when Buck was still dating Tommy. So, Eddie did the next best thing. He told Gerrard he quit too, flipped him off, and then he dragged a cackling Buck out of the fire station, feeling lighter for the first time since Chris had gone back to El Paso with Eddie’s parents. Buck then took him to their favourite ice cream place, and even though Eddie felt like dying- because the last time they went there Christopher had been with them- Eddie forced himself to shrug the feeling away and just focus on the bright smile on Buck’s face as he made fun of Eddie’s ice cream choice ("It may be boring, but you can never go wrong with vanilla ice cream, Buck!").And even though all Eddie wanted was to spend the rest of the day– no, the rest of his life– with Buck, just talking and laughing over their ice cream like the two little kids that they’d never been allowed to be, Eddie simply asked Buck to drive him home when Buck apologetically told him he had to go for a date with Tommy. Buck did offer to cancel so he could keep Eddie company, but Eddie said no. Buck had sacrificed so much of his life for Eddie; he couldn’t take this from him too.
So, he waved Buck goodbye once he was home, and watched the Jeep drive away before he got inside his house. The panic from having resigned from work hadn’t truly settled in yet, buried deep under the crushing despair he felt over coming home to an empty house once again. He knew that once it finally settled in, he’d probably have another breakdown. But he decided that was for later. For the time being, Eddie would just go to bed and try not to think about what Buck and Tommy’s date entailed, try not to mourn all the missed chances he could have had if he weren’t so f*cked up in the head from his parents’ A+ parenting. It took Eddie a while, probably a couple of hours, before he eventually fell asleep. He drifted off to thoughts of someday finally getting the happy ending he’d always dreamed of. A day when he and Chris and Buck could be one happy family—again. Like they were meant to be, like they had always been.
Eddie didn’t sleep long though, because the next thing he knew, he was woken up by familiar hands gently shaking him awake. It was Buck. And the dim light coming from behind Buck’s head made him look as if he was glowing, and for a moment, all Eddie could do was just stare at the absolutely breathtaking sight that was Evan Buckley. Thus, Eddie would like it to be noted that it wasn’t at all his fault when he didn’t immediately catch what Buck was saying. It took him two attempts to finally process Buck’s words. He’d just broken up with Tommy Kinard. The same Tommy that he’d spent the past few months talking about to anyone who’d listen, practically singing his praises any time he could. Blearily blinking the sleep out of his eyes, Eddie tried asking Buck what had happened, and how he felt about it because surely, Buck must be feeling quite devastated. Buck didn’t give him the chance to ask his questions though. Instead, he just told Eddie to pack some clothes, because they were leaving in the morning for London to visit Buck’s uncle.
Willis Hunt. Or more commonly known as Coach Beard.
Both Buck and Eddie had first met the man at the funeral of Alexander Hunt, Buck’s maternal grandfather. Eddie had come along to the funeral because the night before he was supposed to leave for Scranton, Buck had frantically called Eddie, panicking about going to see his mother and grandmother in such a grim situation where they’d turn on him just to avoid dealing with their grief. Sure, Maddie and Chimney would be there (and Jee-yun too, of course), but Buck knew they would be too busy fending for themselves to be able to help Buck. So, Buck was slowly working his way up to a serious panic attack, spiraling over how his parents, most especially his mother, would just tell his grandmother all the new ways he’d disappointed them, it left Eddie with no choice but to do the most logical thing he could think of doing.
He offered to come with Buck to the funeral, to which Buck responded with approximately a hundred and fifty thank you's and a promise to make it up to him. Neither of them even remembered that Buck could have just asked Tommy to come with him, since he was Buck’s boyfriend. At least, not until Margaret herself asked about the man. And when Buck just stared at his mother, unable to provide an answer as to why he hadn’t brought Tommy instead, Eddie saw the moment that that absolutely horrid woman realised she’d found something to attack Buck with. Therefore, once again, Eddie did the only logical thing he could do at that moment. Although, if he were to be honest, it was more like thefirst thinghe could think of doing at that moment.
“Why do you care about who Buck brings to his grandfather’s funeral?” Eddie said in defence of his best friend. “You should just be grateful that at least your son is here to support you through your grief. Since, you know, despite being his mother, you were never there for him.”
Margaret reeled back as if Eddie had just slapped her, while everyone else within the vicinity of their conversation let out a scandalised gasp not unlike the one his Abuela did whenever she was watching a telenovela and something particularly dramatic happened. And normally, Eddie would have at least felt some shame once he realised what he’d done. Not because he regretted what he did– no, he would never regret defending Buck. It was more because he was never comfortable with attention. But one look at Buck’s face, at the way Buck’s big blue eyes rounded in wonder and gratitude, got Eddie standing taller and feeling three times bigger as he looked down at Margaret with a barely concealed smirk. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Maddie and Chim rushing to their side to deescalate the situation, and they reached Margaret just as the woman was probably about to yell at Eddie, and maybe Buck too.
But before she could even make a sound, a loud cackle was heard from behind him and Buck. When they turned around, there was a middle-aged man with a thick beard and a beaver hat glaring at Margaret. Beside him was another man with an impressive moustache, muttering apologies left and right.
“Damn, Marge, he got you good, didn’t he?” the man chuckled mirthlessly, sending a cold smile Margaret’s way before turning his attention to Eddie, this time with a friendly grin on his face. “Great job, buddy. That was hilarious.”
“Uh, thank you?” Eddie said slowly, a little warily, at the same time Buck said, “I’m sorry, but who are you?”
The man smiled even more genuinely as he focused on Buck, his features softening a great deal, making him look somewhat familiar. “Legally, my name is actually Willis Hunt,” the man explained, which earned him a faint gasp from Maddie. "But you probably know me as Coach Beard, former coach of the Wichita State Shockers, and current coach of AFC Richmond. Although, technically, you can also call me Uncle Beard.”
“Uncle Beard?” Buck repeated, looking positively adorable when he scrunched up his nose in confusion, head tilted to the side like the golden retriever everyone always compared him to. Obviously, Beard found it endearing too, because his smile widened at the expression.
“Yep,” Beard said, popping the ‘p’. “I’m Margie’s little brother, the original black sheep of our family. So, what do you think about making a band with me, nephew? It’ll be called ‘The Disappointments’. I’ll be on the drums, you can do the singing and be the face of our f*cked-up duo, kid.”
“Willis!” Margaret hissed out, but the man just ignored his sister.
“Your friend over there can even join us. Only someone who grows up as the family disappointment has that level of savagery in their comebacks.”
And as Buck let out his signature child-like laugh, which got Beard smiling even wider, Eddie knew that he and the man would get along.
Everyone who defended Buck like that would always be in Eddie's good books.
“Hey there, nephew!”
Speak of the Devil…
Beard was standing in the waiting line, holding an obnoxiously neon pink sign with Buck’s and Eddie’s names written on it. As usual, Beard looked stoic even as he waved rather animatedly at Buck. But even under his, well, beard, everyone could see the way he was fighting back a grin. Eddie’s eyes immediately found themselves zeroing on the man beside Beard. It was Ted Lasso, former coach and manager of AFC Richmond, whom Eddie and Buck had also met at Alexander Hunt’s funeral. The man was waving his hands in a more exuberant way than Beard, which elicited a bright laugh from Buck. And Eddie was powerless to stop himself from staring at Buck like the besotted fool that he was. Buck was perhaps one of the most attractive men Eddie had ever met. But a laughing Buck, with his dimples popping out and eyes crinkling in that adorable way that made his birthmark stand out? Yeah, Eddie had long ago decided it was the second most beautiful sight he’d ever seen in his life, only losing out to how Chris had looked when he was born.
“Hi, Uncle Beard,” Buck said, already going in for a hug. “Thanks for picking us up.”
“Anytime, kid,” Beard said as he let go of Buck. It was obvious that Beard wasn’t the hugging type, but he seemed okay with Buck hugging him. Eddie couldn’t blame him. Buck gave the greatest hugs.
“Thank you for letting me tag along, sir,” Eddie said, once Beard finally turned his attention to him.
Beard shrugged, a glimmer of a smile tugging at his lips. “It’s fine. You know I like you, Eds. Anyone who makes himself an enemy of my sister automatically becomes one of my favourite people.”
“The bar is very low then. Because I think everyone in the 118 would gladly be an enemy of your sister,” Eddie joked, earning what he knew to be a rare cackle from Beard.
“Golly, now there’s two of them,” Ted quipped with a chuckle, as he stepped forward to accept the hug Buck offered him.
“I know right?” Buck said, grinning. “It was nice seeing you again, Ted.”
“Nice seeing you boys too,” Ted replied, as he turned to hug Eddie. “I hope you don’t mind me tagging along. I just got here last night, and Beard told me he’s picking you guys up before taking you two to dinner.”
“No, no, we love having you with us,” Buck reassured him. “I want to know everything about Uncle Beard’s family.”
There was a beaming smile on Beard’s face that looked so much like the ones Eddie had seen both Buck and Maddie make. He had always wondered where the Buckley siblings got their smile from, and now he finally knew. It made Eddie grateful that after how horrible his parents were to him his whole life, Buck had still grown up into the bubbly, sunshine-personified human that he was. Because Eddie had seen the alternative; and while Beard seemed to be as wonderful as Buck was, it looked like the man’s rough childhood had taken away all the brightness that he could have had if his parents hadn’t f*cked him up. Looking at the wistful way Ted was watching Beard and Buck interacting, with Buck eagerly speaking while Beard solemnly listened, Eddie knew that he hadn’t been the only one who’d felt sorry for what both uncle and nephew had gone through.
(“He was just like me, Eds,” Buck had said quietly, when they were on their flight back to LA from Scranton. “He was the unwanted son, too. The only difference between us is that he’s the replacement while I’m the spare parts.”)
They agreed to drop off their suitcases before they went for dinner, so they headed off to Beard’s house straight from the airport. It didn’t take them long before they arrived at the house, and just like Beard himself had said, it was a pretty big house with three bedrooms. Ted had kindly taken the smaller guest bedroom, leaving the bigger one for Buck and Eddie to share. When they saw just how spacious it was, and that it even included a bathroom, both Buck and Eddie immediately tried to get Ted to switch rooms, but the man was just too damn kind for his own good. It didn’t help that Beard backed Ted up when they tried to talk about it with him. In the end, Buck and Eddie relented and stored their suitcases in their room, and then rushed after Beard and Ted out of the house. There was already a taxi waiting outside to take them to a pub and restaurant called The Crown and Anchor. Apparently, AFC Richmond supporters had basically claimed the place as their headquarters to hang out and watch football together, especially if Richmond was playing.
“Hey, Mae!” Ted greeted the old woman that Eddie supposed could only be the owner of The Crown and Anchor.
“Ted!” the woman, Mae, replied brightly. She was pretty fast for her age because in what felt like a blink of an eye, the woman had come out from behind the bar and was already standing in front of Ted to pull him into a hug. “How are you, lad? It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”
“About a year, yes. And I’ve been well, ma’am,” Ted replied, a big smile on his face. “I hope everything’s been going great for you too.”
“Well, the pub’s become even more popular since your boys have been winning pretty consistently, so I guess everything has been going great,” Mae said, her smile never faltering as she turned her attention to Buck and Eddie. If anything, her smile had only widened. “And who are these handsome young gentlemen? A bit too old to be new players for the team, aren’t they?”
“Ah, no, ma’am. We’re not soc- I mean, football players,” Buck said, quickly correcting himself at the slip up. “I’m Evan Buckley, Uncle Beard’s nephew. And this is my best friend Eddie Diaz.”
“Nice to meet you, ma’am,” Eddie greeted the woman, feeling nervous all of a sudden at the way Mae’s eyebrows rose up high on her forehead.
“Nephew?” Mae said, understandably surprised as she looked at Beard, who just shrugged. “Thought you were an only child, coach.”
“My family and I are estranged,” Beard explained. “So, Buck and I have only known each other for a couple months, after we met at my father’s funeral.“
“Huh. I guess that’s one plausible reason why I’ve only heard about you boys now,” Mae said. “It’d be hard to hide the two of you otherwise. I mean, good God;what did they feed you two over there in America? You boys don’t only have a pretty face, you two are also built like a house. You two must be very popular with the ladies, right?”
“Ah, well—“
“He is,” Eddie couldn’t help but to say. “And with the men too. Buck here is a bit of a celebrity firefighter back home.”
“As if you weren’t too,” Buck grumbled, but there was a teasing grin on his face. “Literally, your first day on the job, you were swarmed by a bunch of horny drunk girls.”
“Shut up. They were clamouring for your attention too,” Eddie said, lightly punching Buck on the shoulder, which earned him a grin that made Eddie feel all warm and fuzzy.
And when he caught the amused look shared between Beard and Ted, Eddie pretended not to notice it.
“Wow, you boys are firefighters?” Mae said, looking impressed.
“Yes, ma’am,” Buck and Eddie said in unison.
“And they’re the best firefighters the LAFD has ever seen,” Beard said, with not a small amount of pride in his voice. Hearing it made Eddie feel like crying. He knew that Beard was probably talking more about Buck, but it was far too easy to pretend that his pride was for Eddie’s accomplishments too.
Judging from the way Buck ducked his head shyly, he must have felt touched by the compliment as well. Everyone knew that neither Philip Buckley nor Ramon Diaz had ever sounded that proud about their respective sons’ achievements.
“You know, I used to have this huge crush on a firefighter, back when I was in my twenties,” Mae said, bringing everyone’s attention back to her. “He used to live in the flat above mine, and he was just so dreamy. I actually contemplated setting my kitchen on fire once just so I could get him to my place.”
“Oh, Mae!” both Ted and Beard exclaimed, scandalised. The old woman just laughed.
“I didn’t do it, of course,” Mae said, although the glint in her eyes let them all know how close she was from doing it. “I knew it could have gotten me into loads of trouble. And my Ma would have murdered me if I'd actually done that.”
“Uh, I imagine most mothers would,” Ted said, his lips twitching into a grin.
“Yeah, even neglectful ones like mine and Buck’s,” Beard said dryly, and Eddie had to bite his lip to stop himself from laughing.
“Did you ever do anything about that crush then?” Eddie said instead. He promised himself that he’d talk more with Beard though. It was obvious that they had more in common than just their love for Buck.
“Of course,” Mae said, with a rather naughty grin. “I flashed him my tit*, then I asked him out. And now we’ve been married for almost sixty years.”
“Wow, I wasn’t prepared for that ending,” Ted remarked, somehow sounding genuinely surprised without being insulting. “But it’s definitely the kind of love story hormonal teenagers and bored mothers around the world would love to read about… Hey, Mae; you totally should write a book about you and your husband.”
“Yeah? Maybe I will,” Mae said with a cheeky grin. “Anyway, enough about this old woman’s naughty past. What do you lads want to order?”
Mae wrote down their orders and promised they would be done soon. While waiting for their food to come, Beard immediately decided that it was time for Buck, and by extension Eddie too, to explain why they’d quit firefighting. So, Buck started from the very beginning- from the part where Bobby had neglected to mention to their family that he was retiring, which had led to Gerrard somehow convincing the brass to assign him back to the 118, much to everyone's utmost horror. Buck then continued with how the whole 118 was basically at war with Gerrard, who basically made it his life’s mission to be the world’s most colossal asshole by making ridiculous demands and setting even more ridiculous rules for the 118 firefighters to follow. He was particularly evil to Chimney and Hen though, because they were the ones he’d known from back in the old days. But Chimney and Hen fought him hard, leading the rest of the 118 to stand up to Gerrard’s abuse. It looked like they would have succeeded in making Gerrard’s life hell, to push him into leaving the 118, if Eddie hadn’t come to Gerrard asking for leave.
“Now, you make it seem like it’s your fault, and that’s just not true, Eds,” Buck argued fiercely. “You were stressing out about Christopher, who is your life;your heart and soul. It was actually very brave and very wise of you to ask for leave, because how could you be expected to focus on work when you need to focus on yourself first?”
“Exactly,” Eddie shot back. “I shouldn’t have allowed my own personal issues to interfere with my work. I should have been professional. I should have—“
“Sucked it up?” Buck cut in sharply, a challenging look in his eyes. Usually, that look would have made Eddie feel all hot and bothered, even before he’d realised his romantic feelings for Buck. But now Eddie just found it annoying- and fine, perhaps a little bit sexy.
Not that he would say that out loud in front of Beard and Ted.
Eddie didn’t rise to the bait though. He didn’t argue with Buck, because he knew that he was going to lose. Because, if anyone could turn his own stupid logic on himself and brutally defeat him in an argument, it would be Buck. Who, as cliché as it sounded, knew Eddie better than himself, even when they were only just becoming friends. Buck had always known what to say to Eddie, because he’d always known what Eddie wanted to hear. In the end, Eddie swallowed back his argument and let out a heavy sigh as he buried his face in his hands. Their table was quiet for quite a while before Beard finally broke the silence.
“So, what happened next?” he said lightly. The whole time Buck and Eddie spoke, Beard and Ted looked like they weren’t paying much attention, especially not when their food and drink arrived. But Eddie wasn’t at all fooled. He’d seen Athena do this all the time during dinners at the Grant-Nash. Just like the wise woman the 118 had an abundance of respect for, Eddie knew that even though it looked like Beard and Ted weren’t paying attention, the two of them weren’t missing anything.
“Gerrard wouldn’t give Eddie his leave, of course,” Buck said, spitting out Gerrard’s name as if it was filth staining his tongue. “But he didn’t just stop there. I won’t say in detail exactly what he said, because that would just send me off the rails, but the asshole said that Eddie’s awareness of his own mental health was the reason he had lost Chris.”
There was a beat of silence, this time longer than the previous one, before Ted spoke. And for the first time since Eddie had met the man, Ted looked incensed. He had remarkable control over his temper though, because he sounded perfectly stable when he spoke.
“That is one horrible man,” Ted began. “And I don’t usually wish ill on anyone, not even on people like Rupert Mannion, but I sincerely wish something horrible will fall onto this Gerrard fellow.”
“You can say that you wish him a painful death and an even worse time in Hell, buddy,” Beard said, his own eyes flashing in fury. “f*ck, and here I thought Rupert was the worst human being ever.”
“You’d be surprised by how many assholes we had to deal with in the seven years we were firefighters,” Buck grumbled under his breath. “And that’s not even counting the psychos like Maddie’s ex-husband and Chim’s replacement, Jonah Greenway.”
Eddie felt awful once again at the reminder of how his absence from the team- from his family - had allowed a monster like Jonah to get into their midst. And again, just like before, it was like Buck could read his mind because he grabbed Eddie’s hand under the table and gave it a reassuring squeeze. He didn’t say anything this time, but Eddie knew that Buck would have definitely started another round of arguing about Eddie’s feelings of guilt if they weren’t in front of Beard and Ted. As it were, Buck just gave him a small smile and gave Eddie’s hand one final squeeze. He didn’t let go of Eddie’s hand though. He kept holding it, kept it on top of their pressed thighs, his thumb softly going back and forth, caressing Eddie’s knuckles. It made Eddie fall for his best friend all over again, even deeper this time.
“Is your ex included in the list of assholes we’re talking about?” Beard asked Buck, who instantly scowled at the question.
“Definitely,” Buck spat out. “He’s a f*cking douche and gosh, I can’t believe I dated him.”
“In your defence, he did sound like a great boyfriend when you two first started your relationship,” Beard said kindly. “And from what you’ve told me of your dating history, he’s not actually the worst.”
“No, he really is the worst,” Buck said darkly. “Because not even Taylor ever talked bad about Eddie.”
Realisation dawned on Eddie in that moment. Buck had broken up with his boyfriend, the one he’d been waxing poetry about for the past few months, just because said boyfriend had insulted Eddie. Buck had dumped Tommy because of Eddie. Once again, Buck had sacrificed something important about his life for Eddie’s sake. Not for the first time since he had acknowledged his love for Buck, Eddie wondered whether Buck felt the same way. But this just led to the question of why Buck hadn’t ever told him, and why he had gone to Tommy instead.
Yeah, because you never even gave him a hint you weren’t straight, dumbass, Eddie’s inner-self said, sounding annoyingly like a combination of both Chimney and Chris.
Shut up, brain.
Talking to yourself, Diaz?
f*ck off.
“What exactly did he say about me?” Eddie asked Buck quietly, both in an attempt to quiet his thoughts and also because he was curious to know what Tommy had said that had pushed Buck into breaking up with him.
Eddie watched Buck’s jaw clench for a moment before he answered, and Eddie had a split second to admire the beautiful human in front of him before he had to focus back onto their conversation.
“He said you were being overly dramatic about Chris choosing to live with your parents for a while,” Buck said through gritted teeth. “He said that it was your fault anyway that Chris left you, and that you should be grateful that at least he’s just a few hundred miles away with your parents instead of…instead of…”
Buck made a low, pained noise that Eddie could feel reverberating in his very soul because he knew . He could tell what it was that Tommy had said that had enraged Buck, so much that he had broken up with him. Because it wasn’t just Tommy putting all the blame on Eddie for Chris’ current living situation. It was also Tommy saying out loud the number one fear that Buck had, the fear that he and Eddie shared. A fear that they’d both felt all those years ago when the tsunami had struck. Except Eddie had only felt it for a measly three seconds, when Buck had told him that he’d lost Christopher in that tsunami. Meanwhile Buck had gone through it for hours, had lived through the agonising terror of a life where Chris wasn’t in it.
“Oh, Buck,” Eddie whispered, and he didn’t even realise he'd pulled Buck into his arms until he felt the man burying his face in the crook of Eddie’s neck, his tears dampening Eddie’s skin.
“For a moment when he said it, I was back there, Eds,” Buck whispered. “And before I snapped back to the present, it was simply the most horrible five seconds of my life. I knew then that I had to break up with him. I realised then that I couldn’t be with someone who could so easily say something so thoughtless.”
“You stood up for yourself, Buck, and that’s admirable,” Eddie said, and he was looking deep into Buck’s eyes to make sure that Buck got his words into his thick skull. “It’s not your fault that you dated someone like that. And I’m proud of you for realising that you needed to protect yourself first and foremost, even if it’s just from his words.”
“I know, I know. It’s just… I thought this was it, you know? I thought he was the one,” Buck said, as he exhaled a mirthless chuckle. “f*ck, but I really do know how to pick them, don’t I? I am such a f*cking mess.”
And not for the first time since Eddie’s realisation, he wanted to shake Buck hard and yell, ‘Pick me! Pick me, then! I am messy too. And together, we can be messy together. And maybe we can pick our lives up too, make them better together. If the reason you didn’t choose me before was because you thought I wasn’t ready yet, then pick me now. Choose me now, please. Because I am ready now. I am ready to be with you and spend the rest of our lives together. Like we both know we’ve always dreamed of doing but were too afraid to make it happen.'
But Eddie knew that no matter how much he wanted to close the gap between him and Buck right at that moment and kiss him like his life depended on it, it wasn’t the right time. They really were a mess. Buck had not only just broken up with a person he really liked, but he’d also quit the job he loved. A job that he’d fought so hard for because it was his life. The true gravity of his situation surely hadn’t dawned on him yet, but Eddie was sure that when it finally did, it would be tough on him. And Eddie himself? He was definitely not in a good place to start a relationship with the person he knew to be the true love of his life. His life was falling apart, and he also knew that when it finally dawned on him just how much in trouble he was actually in, he would blow up. And he would hate for Buck to be the one who had to bear the brunt of his mistakes, because he knew that Buck would just take it. The man was practically a saint. So, Eddie had to be the better man, so he could finally become the man that he wanted to be for Buck.
And a holiday in England with Buck’s uncle and his best friend seemed like a good way to slowly get his head around that.
“You know what I think?” Ted said, breaking the silence between them. “I think you two made a good decision to leave everything behind for a bit. It’s obvious that you boys need a break, and what better way to do it than all the way here, across the globe?”
“That’s what I was thinking of when I told Uncle Beard we were coming,” Buck said, shooting a beaming smile at Ted, pleased that someone had the same idea as he did.
“It may be for only two weeks, but sometimes two weeks is all you need to figure things out about yourself,” Ted continued, earning a raised eyebrow from Beard.
“Is that why you’re here?” Beard asked. “Are you figuring out something about yourself, Ted?”
“We’re talking about your nephew and his friend now, Willis,” Ted said instead, which only caused Beard’s eyebrow to raise even higher on his forehead.
“Hm. I know you’re avoiding the subject, and I respect that. But we’ll definitely go back to talking about this once we’re home,” Beard said firmly. It looked like Ted wanted nothing more than to further avoid talking about his issues, but at Beard’s stern look, he gave a reluctant nod of agreement.
“So, what do you have planned for Eddie and I tomorrow, Uncle Beard?” Buck said, in a rather obvious attempt to change the subject.
“If it’s alright with you, I’m taking you two to meet the boys,” Beard said. “I’ll admit though, it’s partly because I have work tomorrow.”
“You mean the AFC Richmond team?” Eddie asked excitedly. He might not be all that crazy about football, be it the American type or the one the rest of the world was more familiar with, as he was more of a baseball fan himself. But he still thought it was really cool that he got to meet actual world-class athletes.
“Yep,” Beard said in the affirmative. “You two are a few years older than them, but I think you’ll all get along pretty well. Especially you and Jamie Tartt, Buck.”
“Uh, why is that?” Buck asked, sounding both wary and excited.
Beard took a while to respond, before simply giving a shrug. “Eh, I can’t really explain it. But I just have a feeling that you two will get along.”
“I don’t know, Coach. I think Eds and Roy will be best buddies too by the end of the day,” Ted quipped, a glint of something unreadable in his eyes as he eyed Eddie closely.
“Huh. I see what you mean, Ted,” Beard said, nodding his head contemplatively. “But until the four of them finally meet, this is all just speculation.”
“Well, if you two think so, I guess I’ll have to believe you,” Buck said. “I am looking forward to meeting them. From your stories, they all sound real great.”
“We should get back, then,” Beard said as he rose from his seat. “We have an early start tomorrow. After the jet lag, I know you’ll appreciate your sleep tonight.”
They all murmured their agreement, and after Beard settled their payment, they all ordered a taxi back to his place. They bade each other good night once they reached Beard’s house, and Eddie found himself grinning at the rather adorable way Ted and Beard made a promise to find each other in their respective dreams. They truly were the cutest pair of platonic best friends, even more than Chim and Hen. Judging from the way Buck looked positively endeared by the interaction, Eddie knew he wasn’t the only one who’d found Ted and Beard’s interaction adorable. So, it was with that thought in mind that Eddie, once he’d cleaned himself up and settled right next to Buck in the bed they shared, poked Buck in the ribs until his best friend turned around to face him. For a split second, lying side by side like that, with their faces so close to each other, made Eddie forget what he was going to say. In his defence, Buck’s stunning blue eyes were basically glowing in the darkness of the room. It was only after he felt Buck squeeze his hand a bit that Eddie finally remembered what he wanted to say.
“Hey, Buck?” Eddie said, feeling his own lips tugging into a grin at what he was about to say.
“Hey, Eddie?” Buck said in response, and his own smile made Eddie’s heart skip a beat.
“If we see each other in our dreams, let’s goof around a little bit,” Eddie said, and he felt his grin widening as Buck chuckled in recognition of his words. “You know, pretend like we don’t know each other? What do you say?”
“You got it, stranger,” Buck said with a wink. “Night, Eds.”
“Night, Buck.”
